Say what you want, but this place does get better in the night. You know, after all the wedding bands and DJs are done playing ridiculous tracks out loud, after all the dogs have barked their lungs out, after all the trucks have passed and the streets are empty, there comes a time of total silence. it doesnt last very long and is not there at all most nights but it is something i look forward to at night. it get so quiet that you can hear the sound of your eyelids blinking. a little sound that is non-existent but beautiful when you choose to hear it. i discovered this a few nights ago when i found myself wide awake staring at the ceiling. ive been told i have a much louder heartbeat compared to others. the lecturer taking our medical first aid class told me that as she demonstrated how to use a stethoscope. i should really stop sitting on the first bench everytime. but anyway she said my pulse was the loudest she had ever heard. now medically i dont know if that means i have a strong heart that pumps loud or if my heart pumps loud coz it cant maintain blood pressure or something but it is loud none the less. another sound i look forward to in that silence. it starts of in the chest and if i pay close attention it begins to resonate from my ears, then i feel it all over my face till it drowns out all other sounds from the world and erases all my worries. I dont remember it being this quiet at sea because there’s always a faint vibration from the engines that drowns out everything else. Another place with a enviable silence is Dharamshala. I went there last year and i experienced a whole new level of silence. borderline scary stillness but not a sound for miles and that was something else.
i look forward to such experiences, moments which make me think, make me cherish my life, my position, my place and others around me. i complain a lot but truth is it could get a lot lot worse. and it has been a lot worse. ive lived days when i had to skip meals to save money. i just didnt want to be a burden on anyone and didnt want to ask for any money from my folks and im glad i didn’t. coz those sleepless nights where i lay in an alien city with total strangers in some way led me here to this moment right now, this very second. And i am thankful to everyone who helped me get here.