I’m not very good with situations. I don’t deal with people well. I almost always piss them off and leave them disgruntled to a point where they often leave without a scope of returning. I don’t know why that is but it’s something I’ve noticed about myself. Maybe I expect too much or think too greatly about myself. Or maybe no one has made an effort to understand my side of the story. Not that anyone has to, they aren’t obligated to do so so why would they? And times like these it’s fuck the rest and on to the next. Who cares really?
I’d like to think I’m a good guy. Yes I’m a little too direct and vocal about my thoughts and opinions. And that often doesn’t sit well with people. Not everyone likes to hear about these things when everyone is on edge these days.
This isn’t a justification for my actions but it is an apology. I have been sidetracked from my real self and I’ve turned into someone I don’t recognise anymore. Not that anyone cares or bothers. I’ve pissed off a lot of people in the last few months without realising what I was doing and I was happy to let them go without a single thought.
I’m not going to ask everyone to return because what’s done is done. This is who I am and the damage is irreversible. Now I must continue on the path I’ve picked and live in distance till I’ve healed before I set off some other involuntary fireworks. Maybe someday they’ll understand the reasons behind what I said and what I did but either way who cares.
Who cares? Who cares about my heartbroken existence that surfaces briefly?