It’s like being inside the matrix. One life sustains, just waiting for your return and picks up where you left off. You put your head down and do your job not knowing why exactly you’re doing it. You do it because you’re supposed to do it. No other way around it. People depend on you and there is no room for error. All this crops up right when you had begun to relax in your real life, the real world.
You are pulled out of the matrix. And even if you were unhappy it was still a life you were living. The matrix provides you with joy in little things. It provides a sense of brotherhood among strangers here. It makes people respect my rank even when they don’t respect me as a person.
You’re thrown into the real world. Where everything is different. You are no longer a rank, you’re a person. You have people who care and want to be around you. You reject that love at first because you aren’t used to it. A part of you wants to run back to the matrix. Wants to relive that life. I believe it’s called Stockholm syndrome.
You slowly get used to the idea of people being around you and having conversations, not just small talk. You let them inside cautiously. And just when you feel that you can now relax and unwind with your friends and loved ones, life decides its time to return to the matrix. For a job, another mission. Nee set if people, new challenges.
You rebel and agonise with the idea, for now you’ve developed a staunch dislike for life inside the matrix. You don’t want to leave everyone behind. But its something you must do. It’s something you have to do. Because this is the life you chose. This is what you were born to do. This is your destiny.