Relationships 101

Relationships aren’t difficult. Contrary to popular opinions, they can be quite fulfilling and not at all stressful. Times have changed and the latest trend of divorces and break ups saddens me. I think somehow the idea of dating and being together has been poisoned by various sources. I however think that relationships are easy. Being with someone you like is not supposed to be difficult at all. Listed below are a few points worth considering for all you young and confused couples.

1. Communicate.

I cannot stress this enough. It is pretty much the backbone, the sustenance of every relationship. I believe anything can be worked out and everything can be fixed. It may sound naïve but it isn’t. Communication in a relationship is essential and it has to be a two way street. Even the little things matter. That brings you closer. By opening up yourself you welcome your partner into your world and make him feel welcome. Shutting the door and dealing with your issues in private may work for you but the other person feels that he isn’t involved. Talk about everything, share thoughts and talk as much as you can. This is a person you want to be with. So why not? It has become a trend that the two people involved spend more time among their own friends and barely meet each other without company. While personal space is imperative, living two separate lives in my opinion can start the process of corroding your relationship. Talking about things does not make you weak, it makes you human.

2. Honesty.

Is the best policy. Rightly said. This again goes hand in hand with communication. In the long run honesty always reaps it’s rewards. Lies eventually catch up to a person and the damage done by then is tenfold. Be honest and explain your point of view without losing your temper.

3. Indulge.

Everyone has different quirks and tendencies. Things they like to do, the way they react in circumstances. Like for instance men would enjoy a football game on a weekend. Women for instance would want to go for a movie or maybe window shop somewhere. No I get that most women find football as dreary as it gets and men would rather have their fingernails pulled out before they go through an agonising process of shopping for stuff that will eventually be rejected. But I advise you to indulge. Take a step into their world and be a part of their life the way they live it. It goes a long way. Trust me

4. Compromise.

Goes without saying. Opinions will conflict and you can stand your ground and fight till the end of the world. Or you can make a compromise and give in every now and then. Also works best when it is a two way street. There are no winners or losers in relationships. There are only good times and bad times. And you get to decide what time it is. Take your pick.

5. Understand.

Understand that your partner is a different being. He/she are bound to have different ideas about pretty much everything. They are not there to compliment your behavior or be your twin. Everyone is different. So live and let live. Understand that there are things that they will do or want to do in a manner that only they understand. And that’s okay. Understand that they exist too.

6. Reactions.

The outcome of life can be changed by how you react to situations and circumstances. I believe the true identity of a person lies in the way they react. They either want to talk about it, go inside a shell, get angry and storm off or stand their ground and raise hell. Before you react try and understand the meaning behind what was said and what has happened. This would’ve come from a person who loves you and means no harm. Accidentally he may have hurt you but understand that it was probably not intentional. An analysis of a reaction is important. Saying things in anger that further damage everything is meaningless.

7. Simplify.

Things aren’t supposed to be complicated. It’s easy. Just simplify. Take out the complication out of the equation and just be. A simple long walk or holding your hand while watching a movie or something communicates a thousand words without actually saying anything. It works brilliantly. Human beings hate complications and it takes two to  uncomplicate.

8. Isolate issues.

The things that have become a problem have to be isolated from the rest of the world and external influences. Another person may have a different understanding of the matter and may provide a judgement that would be invalid yet influential. Marriages often break after parents get involved in little matters that can be sorted out between the people  involved. If things cannot be sorted right away, stick a pin in it and discuss later. Blowing your trumpet about your relationship problems make it worse. A lot lot worse.

9. Complacency.

This comes a lot later. But it is lethal. You start taking things for granted. You start taking the other person for granted. You stop dressing up smartly, you stop being romantic, sex becomes monotonous and everything turns blah. But it doesn’t have to. This can be cured even if one of them makes an effort. Go on fancy dates, long vacations, late night movies even when you’re 70 years old. You will have fun and so will your partner. Satisfaction guaranteed.

10. Fight for it.

Its not easy but more often than not it is worth fighting for. Keep it alive and remember that everything can be fixed. Fight till the end and fight with all your might to keep it alive. Rolling over and letting it die is easy but it brings in a world of hurt and regret. Destroying anything is relatively easier than building something from scratch. And something that you’ve built together for so long must be preserved and fought for. Even if you have to fight with each other. Whatever you do, don’t let go.

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