Are you happy now?

I only use the table in my room for typing when i am writing about something serious. Other times it merely acts as the final resting place of all my gadgetry after a long night. Today however is one of those days when I feel like talking about something. An issue very close to me and something that has affected and haunted me for quite some time now. A great sadness comes over me as i come to terms with my new reality, my new identity. But not for the reasons you may think. This didn’t happen because of two idiots indulging in cheap thrills. I can now just sit alone in my room shaking my head wondering if there was something else i could’ve done or something i missed in the process that could’ve been corrected preemptively.

To fight a system one must accept that there may be a chance of defeat. It was with this grounded reality that we united our paths and set forth to withstand whatever stood ahead of us; not fully comprehending the magnitude of what we were up against. And the degree of difficulty that presented itself was paralysing. So much so that it drove fears of our dreams turning into works of fiction. There we stood watching as the storm approached us. Agreed that ships aren’t built to stay inside the protective waters of a harbour but that doesn’t necessarily mean you steer it head first into a storm, massive and unpredictable.

Every action, every word met with more and more ignorant resilience from either side and we felt marooned in the middle of all this. The thoughts and opinions of the world became known to us based on events that had nothing to do with anything associated but affected us indirectly. And every day i watched countless unknown faces on TV and twitter hissing at each other, wishing the other dead. Such volume of infinite hate nurtured and passed on in every household. And while we struggled to build bridges, others were hell bent on setting fire to every fibre of human decency and common sense. Like a pack of raging dogs they howled from behind their laptops, sitting on their comfortable couches just typing away for fun. Letting the world hear their uneducated interpretations of the world and influencing the rest with the help of social media.

We didn’t stand a chance. Not in this world. They would set fire to us and not a soul would question that judgement. We could fight for what we have but the price of it all is too much to ask. And all because of something we couldn’t help. Something we couldn’t control like where we were born and what religion we were born into. No one controls that but that is immaterial. I am an atheist and on most days i am sailing the far corners of the earth. So where i was born and what religion i was born into does not define me as a person. My actions, my opinions, my love and affection, the words i choose; they define me. Not something i cannot change. Not things that are out of my control. Not things that are pre-defined for me when i enter this world. Being born in the same country isn’t good enough apparently.

Slowly the magnitude of it all dawns on me. In a world with everyone ready with a reply and no one ready to listen and understand, people like us don’t stand a chance. It saddens me deeply now when i spend my nights watching movies alone. It saddens me that the world stood against us every step of the way. It saddens me that no one stopped for a second to hear our story. It saddens me that two strong independent adults were defeated by an ocean of corrupted minds. It saddens me that it had to come to this. And i blame every single one of you. For everyone has contributed in spreading hate in one way or another. And now my great love has been taken from me. And i hold you accountable. All of you.

You won. Are you happy now?

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