The music creeping out of that glass window snuck up on me from nowhere. in an instant i knew it was a reminder of a time long forgotten. A time so long ago, it felt like a different lifetime. It was as if that life had once again risen from the dead to come and stand in front of me. Those were happier times. Even though i am happy now and i have become what i wanted to be, there’s an emptiness inside. And i suppose in that moment, that music flowed into that void and made me whole again. it took me back to a time when i was happy in a very different sense of the word compared to now.
i walked inside not knowing what to expect and there he stood. our eyes met and that opened up a door i had closed long ago. I felt proud that he had become what he wanted to be and that our separation was fruitful after all. i felt guilty that i had run along my own course and left him far behind, only to be resurrected by the haunting music tickled by his fingers and cast into the open air to come find me. i felt the love again that poured out for him from inside me. i felt that happiness i felt every time i saw him. It was all of those things. I could see him tormented by the same thoughts as mine, struggling to breathe or put two sentences together.
he sat down in front of that grand piano where he worked his magic so many times. His fingers glided over the keys, possessed and hypnotised by their master. And out came that haunting music again that dug that knife deeper within the depths of my heart. I got up to leave after he had finished playing while i tortured myself in my own prison. Our eyes met one last time while i was at the door. And in that moment i knew our lives could’ve been different. we wouldn’t be the people were were now but we would be happier in our own little world. we set out to reach for the stars and left each other behind. And what remained now was a silent stare in a crowded room smelling of scotch and smoke.
He smiled and nodded his head at me. I smiled back, holding back my tears. I walked inside a movie star and walked out a broken woman soaked in misery. And i knew that somewhere inside that room was a man sharing the same misery i was in.